Valerie Rae Hanneman
Acts 9:3 (NIV) “As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him.”
Shortly after I moved into my very first apartment I was driving to work, running just a little bit late. I saw the police officer as I went past the Catholic Church, but didn’t think anything of it because although I was late, I wasn’t speeding. I was absolutely shocked when his lights came on behind me. I was even more shocked when he told me I WAS speeding. It turns out that the Catholic Church was also a Catholic school. I had been going through a school zone full speed ahead without even knowing it. I was so upset! I was upset a little bit about the ticket but I knew that I deserved it. What most upset me was that as I was barreling through that school zone I could have hurt a child. I thought I was doing right – I thought I was driving legally – but what I was doing was wrong.
Saul was a wild-eyed fanatic for God. He was a Pharisee, a student of Gamaliel, one of the young lions of the Jewish faith, a man who was going places in the Temple hierarchy. He knew the teachings of the Law backwards and forewords, he knew right from wrong. In fact, he knew so much about his religion that he was convinced that he knew what God thought was right – and this new cult that was based on that rabble-rouser carpenter was not right in God’s eyes. In fact, this movement made God just as angry as it made Saul. And the zealot Saul decided he was going to do God’s work and wipe this cult off the face of the map. After causing mayhem among the Jerusalem Christians, Saul got permission to go to Damascus and keep up the good work of wiping up and wiping out.
Saul was hurrying to Damascus, his holy zeal for God making him impatient with the speed of their travel. His eyes were straining forward, looking for the city gates, his hand clutched tightly the stamp of approval given to him by the High Priest, and in his mind were plans tumbling over each other of how he was going to serve God and hunt out these heretics.
Suddenly a bazillion megawatt light was turned on to Saul and a voice came from it, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” Saul hit the ground, face in the dirt. He was shocked and clueless about Who this voice was. In his suddenly empty mind was the thought that only God could do something like this, but Saul wasn’t persecuting God! He was serving God to the best of his ability. “Who are you, Lord?” his voice trembled. “I am Jesus, the One you are persecuting.” Do you think Saul’s life passed before his eyes at that moment? Did Saul think about when he had held the coats of those who had stoned Stephen for Stephen’s profession of faith in Jesus? Or about the Jesus-followers he had caused mayhem among? Did he suddenly know that his life wasn’t worth the dirt his face was buried in? Did he think that he was going to die? But Jesus isn’t in the death business – He is in the life business. So Jesus sent Saul into Damascus to await further instructions. Only when the Great Light left, Saul was blind. Saul had planned to enter Damascus as God’s fire-breathing avenger, swinging the sword of righteousness for all to see. Instead he was lead by hand into Damascus, broken, blinded, an object of pity for all to see. For three days Blind Saul waited to hear Jesus’ voice again. For three days he could not look outside of himself, so Saul was forced to look inside of himself. I will bet that he didn’t like what he saw. I think that during those three days Jesus took Saul on a verse by verse tour of Moses and the prophets, just as He did with His two followers on the Road to Emmaus. By the time Saul’s private Bible study was over he was a changed man. By the time Ananias came Saul’s heart was once again on fire for God – but now he was serving God in the way God thought was right and not in the way that Saul thought was right.
Saul’s whole adult life was a history of zeal for God and for God’s work. He was absolutely focused on being used by God to bring about the reign of Messiah. He thought that what he was doing was right – but it wasn’t. In fact, Saul, who wanted to be God’s greatest servant, was actually God’s greatest hindrance. Saul was so focused what he thought was right in God’s mind that God had to blind Saul so that he could really see what was right in God’s mind.
As the police officer wrote out my ticket I protested that I hadn’t seen a sign about the area being a school crossing. The officer assured me that the sign was indeed there, he had seen it just that morning. I grumbled to myself that the sign – if there was a sign – must be hidden by a tree or something. But the next morning I saw the sign and it was not hidden by a tree or anything else. I, in my hurry to work and in my self-assurance that what I was doing was right, simply did not see the visible signpost that would have been my guide on what speed was actually correct. No matter how right I thought I was, I was going the wrong speed and I was creating a potentially dangerous situation.
Saul thought that his persecution of the followers of Jesus was the right thing to do but in reality he was harming the purposes of the very God he was trying to serve. He, who knew the writings Moses & the prophets so well, missed the visible signposts that identified Jesus as Messiah
I got a ticket, Saul got blindness and we both learned a lesson about seeing the signposts in our lives.
I don’t want to miss any of the signposts that Jesus puts in my life because I am too busy doing what I think is right instead of what Jesus thinks is right. I don’t want to have to be blinded in order for Jesus to get my attention and set me back on the right path with the right signposts. I will take time each day to be with Him in His word, I will take time each day to seek Him in prayer and to seek His guidance – and I will listen.
LORD Jesus, I want my life to be a reflection of what You think is right and not a stubborn holding on to what I think is right. Guide me on the path You have chosen for me. Open my eyes to the signposts on the way.