Valerie Rae Hanneman
2 Corinthians 3:12 (New International Version) “Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold.”
“Valerie, Valerie” Terry’s voice came over the answering machine, “He’s back! You have to come get him out of here right away! Bring your son!” I could hear the panic in her voice so I immediately jumped up. “Steven, get your shoes on we’re leaving” I shouted down the hall as I ran for the phone. “Terry, what’s wrong?” my voice was probably just as panicked as hers was – I could not imagine what it could be! As far as I knew she was not having any troubles with her ex-husband, no disagreements with her neighbors, she has no sons, just daughters. Why did she need my judo-skilled son? And why does she think I should know about t he threat of “him” being back? “He’s in the backyard again! I think he tried to jump on me! If you don’t come get him, I am going to kill him!” What???? “Terry, who is in the backyard?” “That spider, the one you told me not to kill! I went to open my patio umbrella and he almost jumped on me! He is still in there!” Okay, now I understand what is going on. I calmed down immediately. A few weeks ago Terry had seen this spider on the back patio of her apartment. With each telling, the spider had gotten bigger and she was determined to kill it. Now, I happen to like spiders, I have had a few pet tarantulas, so I had told her not to kill it, Steven and I would come and get it and take it out of her complex. She had not seen the spider for a while, but now, I guess, he is back. “We will be right there, Terry” I said calmly. Steven and I packed up our spider safari gear (aquarium fish net and a mayo jar) and off we went to get this spider that – at last telling – was almost bigger than her hand.
It was a Saturday afternoon and Terry lives halfway across town from me, so it was not convenient for me to drive to her house to get this spider. But I went because it was I love Terry. Although I have many friends and acquaintances, Terry is one of a closer circle of friends that I know that not only do I trust them with my life – I would trust them with my children’s life. For me, trust just does not get any deeper than that. Because I trust her so much, Terry can trust in me just as much. I would never purposely harm her and if I accidentally harmed her I would be devastated. And yet, the truth is that every single day I am doing harm to Terry. I am putti ng her at great risk for her life.
In my small circle of friends, Terry is unique because she is the only one that I do not know if she has accepted Jesus or not. Everyone else in my small circle professes Christ, and with one other exception, they all attend Fresno First Baptist (Not that going to Fresno First Baptist makes you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car!) Terry and I have been friends for almost 15 years and I do not know if she is in a personal relationship with Jesus. She knows that I am – she teases me about it once in awhile (particularly on those occasions when my behavior would not qualify as a poster child for Christianity.) I know that she loves antique-y looking jewelry, she wears a lot of black, and she is as crazy over her dog as I am over my Ra scal. We talk about everything – our boss, our kids, TV shows, where to go for lunch, our weekend plans, our pets, our ex’s, our hairstyles, our clothes, our likes and dislikes, politics, music, art, everything under the sun – except the Son – except Jesus.
I came back to Jesus 12 years ago. However, in 12 years I have never talked seriously to Terry about Jesus, His gift of love, and about eternity. If you were to ask me why I would probably shrug and mention that we are so busy we just never got around to it. (Although we sure got around to talking about everything else!) With a bit of nervous laughter, I would say that there is plenty of time, Terry is still young! It would be nervous laughter because I know that there is no promise of tomorrow for any of us. I doubt that I would ever tell you the truth, and the truth is that although I say I love Terry I love my pride even more. Every day I let Terry inch closer and clo ser to an eternity separated from Jesus because I am afraid to tell her about Him, because I am afraid of what she would think of me.
Peter is my favorite disciple, he often let his mouth run away before his brain kicked in, but he walked on water with Jesus, he was the first to state the Jesus is Messiah, and then preached the first sermon of a brand-new church. Peter spoke boldly about Jesus and it cost him his life. He was crucified upside down. It cost many of the early disciples their lives. There are too many places in the world today where it can still cost you your life to speak about Jesus. Daily there are people who are martyred because they did speak boldly. Here in the United States, for the most part, the worst persecution I will face is ridicule. Around the world they willing put their lives on the line to speak about Jesus, and I cower in fear, afraid to speak His name because somebody might think less of me.
And so Terry’s eternity is uncertain because I, who say I love her, won’t love her enough to ask her. I am gambling her eternity because of my pride.
You know, I don’t think that I am comfortable with that.
I think I want to be sure about Terry, I think that I want to laugh and talk with her for all of eternity, and so I think I have to kick my pride out and let boldness in. Maybe it will cost me a friendship here on earth – but maybe I will gain a friendship for eternity. I’ll take that chance.
LORD Jesus, help me speak Your name with boldness to my friend. Give me an opportunity to speak to her and LORD God, most of all – let me recognize the opportunity when it comes, give me Your words, and help me make sure that my friend will share eternity with me.
Contact Valerie or sign up for the e-Ministry of Fresno First Baptist at Valerie@fresnofirst.org
Posted by Valerie at November 18, 2007 02:44 PM