Valerie Rae Hanneman
Isaiah 49:13 (NIV) Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.
I was driving down Palm Avenue towards Fig Garden for the CCLS Board of Directors meeting and I was not a happy camper. It had been a rough week. Kids Klub and choir had just started up again, I was still getting used to those additions to my schedule. Job pressures were intense. Fall is generally a slow time for me but just earlier that week I had been given a little traveling computer storage unit to use because I was e-mailing so much work to home that I kept crashing CCLS’s server. I worked most of my lunch hours – and breaks? Those were a few seconds to load up on caffeine. And then the challenges of home? Don’t get me started! They start with money and go downhill from there. So here I am – driving down Palm – going to a meeting that I am required to be at. There had been a union negotiation meeting earlier that week that had been contentious to the extreme. Now there were rumors that about 15 union members, were going to show up at the Board meeting to voice their dissatisfaction. Past history of them doing that said to me that it was going to be a l-o-o-o-o-n-g meeting. And why not? WHY not? It was only the series season premier of CSI-Las Vegas that night. I was going to miss it! No, I was not a happy camper – if fact – I took a step past “not a happy camperdom” and started kicking down my tent when I turned K-Love 91.1 way down. (I didn’t want anything to distract me from my complaints) I am not going to go into all the gruesome details of how I whined – and I mean WHINED to Father as I voiced more and more of my complaints during this pity party pileup.
I got to the corner of Palm & McKinley – right there by Fresno High – and was caught at the last second by the red light. A group of kids caught my attention as they started to cross the street in front of me. They were shouting something and as they got close to my car I saw their sign “honk if you love JESUS” My mouth dropped open in surprise, then I honked my horn. They stopped in front of my car and started waving & shouting even louder. So I rolled down my window and shouted, “Jesus is the way!” They cheered, I cheered and next thing you know we are having a praise & worship time in the middle of Palm & McKinley. And we praised until their light turned yellow and they scampered to the corner. I gave a final wave, rolled up my window and went on my way. I turned up K-Love and just kept praising and worshiping.
God used those wonderful young people to remind me of what I had forgotten in my pity-party pileup. It is not about me – it is ALL about Him.
In the NIV the word “Rejoice” is used 156 times. When you add similar words like “joy, glad, happy” and all their derivative like rejoicing, joyful, etc you quickly realize that the main theme of the Bible is Jesus, and a major theme that accompanies Him is rejoicing in Him.
I sure wasn’t rejoicing in Jesus as I drove down Palm was I? But in my pity-party I was definitely sending messages to Him. The first message I sent Him through my whining. With my voice sounding like fingernails on a chalkboard I told Him that I didn’t think He was paying enough attention to me. He may have the hairs of my head counted, but He wasn’t paying attention to what I was going through! And so I proceeded to tell Him in the most obnoxious tone of voice - not asking - but telling Him. Not asking for His will but demanding mine. Not waiting for His timing but trying to force Him to mine.
The second message that I was sending Jesus was that I did not trust Him. Oh, I trusted Him with my eternity, but not with my day-by-day. I held the challenges of home, job and church close to my chest and chose to fret about them rather than release them to Him. I even fretted about what had not yet occurred - how the union would act during the Board meeting. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” but I did not trust that He really would - so I held on to my anxiety.
Even as I was telling Him that He didn’t pay enough attention to me, even as I was telling Him that I did not really trust Him to handle my problems, Jesus was planning an unexpected encounter for me that would shake me out of my pity party pileup and turn me back to Him.
What an amazing God He is. Nobody but God would think to use a bunch of on-fire high school students walking across a street with a hand-made sign to remind a pity-partying woman in a car of what is truly important in her life.
It is not the challenges at work - they will pass away. It’s Jesus. It’s not the finances at home - they will pass away. It’s Jesus. It’s not trying to find time to do everything - time will pass away. It’s Jesus. What is truly important is what will never pass away. It’s Jesus.
By the time I got to the meeting I had made a 180 degree attitude adjustment. I walked in with my focus on Jesus and not on my surroundings. Because I was properly focused, when a union member was rude to me later in the meeting I was able to handle the situation in a manner that made Jesus proud of me. If pity-partying Valerie had still been there she would have lost her temper and said something that would not have honored Jesus.
My life is so much better when I rejoice in Jesus with my life. Oh, I still have all those challenges - new ones even - but when I am focused on Jesus - then the challenges take their proper place in my life - specks of dust that swirl away in the winds of eternity.
(and I made it home in time to see CSI)
LORD Jesus, I don’t know why I descend into the pity-parties. I feel yucky when I am in them. Help me to stay away from self-pity - to keep my focus on You and keep rejoicing in You. I like dancing in You much more than dragging in the pity.
Contact Valerie or sign up for the e-Ministry at valerie@fresnofirst.org