Valerie Rae Hanneman
Romans 1:1 (The Message) “I, Paul, am a devoted slave of Jesus Christ on assignment, authorized as an apostle to proclaim God's words and acts. I write this letter to all the believers in Rome, God's friends.”
My favorite drama TV show is “CSI, Las Vegas” I enjoy watching all of those CSI shows. I really like the ones, like “Forensic Files,” that are based on real cases. I think that I like them so much because I am a linear person who really likes the details. My kids think it’s because I read too many “Nancy Drew Mysteries” when I was younger.
I was watching one CSI episode where Brass (the detective) was interviewing a politician about his championship ring that had been found at a crime scene. The politician explained that a couple of years before he had been a drug addict and that at that point in time nothing had mattered to him but that next fix and so he had pawned his championship ring to get it. He then continued that he was now a believer in Jesus Christ and all that was behind him. I am telling you that my jaw hit the ground. For a moment I thought there was going to be something positive about a Christian on a mainstream show. That hope was dashed when Brass rolled his eyes. The politician defended himself. “I know what you are thinking – I am an addict and you think that my faith in Jesus is just my new addiction.” (or something like that)
That statement blew me away! I had never heard anything like that and I wondered if there was a school of thought that actually believed that an addict is just changing their addiction to drugs for an addiction to Jesus. Am I addicted to Jesus? I thought that I would do a comparison between a drug addiction and a Jesus addiction to see how they are different – and how they are the same. So – with your indulgence – I present:
CSI – Fresno First Baptist
The first thing that we need to establish is that I have an addictive personality. When I discovered the party scene in my 20’s I started out with wine but quickly ramped up to drinking 151 Bacardi & coke. That, my friend, is some serious drinking. My drug use was occasional and for the party. When my children’s father and I moved in together, the drinking stopped, but my drug use became a daily thing. At first, it was marijuana but by my late 20’s I was fully addicted to amphetamines (crank). I was an addict for the next 12 years, then Jesus reached deep into the sewer of my drug life to fish me out. For the past 11 years I have served Him. Now, as Grissom says, let’s look at the evidence:
When I was a drug addict I couldn’t quit the drugs. I hated being on them but I couldn’t be free of it. As a Jesus addict I can’t quit Him either. I absolutely love being addicted to Jesus and the day will never come when I want to be free of Him.
I was a slave to the drugs and I was ashamed of it. I went to great lengths to make sure that nobody had a clue about what I was doing, that that part of my life was hidden away from everybody. I am a slave to Jesus, too. It is my greatest joy and I will shout my slavery from the rooftops. I want everybody to know that I am addicted to Him – may every breath I take, may every word I say, may every action and every thought – everything I am proclaim Him as my Master and myself as His willing slave.
When I was a drug addict everything else took second place to my addiction. I was a neglectful parent, a poor friend, a marginal employee, and a miserable human being. I was absolutely self-centered on my need. As a Jesus addict everything is still second place to my addiction. – but the results have undergone a radical change. I realize that in serving in these other roles – parent, friend, employee – I am actually serving Jesus. Because I am serving Him, I am no longer a self-centered, miserable human being, instead I am a Christ-centered, outwardly directed human being of incredible joy.
I took the drugs because they made me feel good about myself. I felt powerful, in control and able to do just about anything – but it was a lie. In my Jesus addiction I feel good about myself because I know that I am highly valued by God. I am powerful because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am in control of my life because I have willing turned over my life to Jesus
As a drug addict I put death up my nose and into my body. I was so weighted down with chains of hopelessness that I couldn’t hardly put one foot in front of the other. My face showed that I was the walking dead. As a Jesus addict I have only life in my body and soul. I am bound to Him by chains of love that cause me to dance on feet of praise. My face is alight with the glory of my abundant life found in God
There was no hope, no future in my drug addiction – only death. My addiction to Jesus is my hope, it is my future – and it brings me eternal life in His presence
There are similarities between my drug addiction and my Jesus addiction. – but even greater differences. I could not quit my drug addiction – although I wanted to. I cannot quit my Jesus addiction – and I never want to quit Him. I was a slave to the drugs and they tore down my life and relationships. I am a slave to Jesus and in Him have found my greatest freedom to be who He has meant me to be in both my life and relationships. The drugs made me feel good – but were a lie. Jesus makes me feel good about myself and it is the truth. Drugs weighted me down with chains of hopelessness, Jesus lifts me up and binds me to Him with chains of love.
Drugs were the impending death of me – Jesus is the eternal life within me.
LORD Jesus, the world says that I am addicted to You as a replacement for being addicted to drugs. They don’t have a clue one. I choose to bind my life to You because You are the only source of life there is. If that is an addiction – then so be it.
Contact Valerie or sign up for the e-Ministry at valerie@fresnofirst.org
Posted by Valerie at July 13, 2006 12:02 PM