Valerie Rae Hanneman
Mark 4:22 (Contemporary English Version) “There is nothing hidden that will not be made public. There is no secret that will not be well known”
During the last week of school I got a phone call form Buchanan High School. The woman introduced herself as a guidance counselor. I was beaming from ear to ear because her call meant that my son had dealt with his summer school registration problems on the FIRST day I asked him to! Finally, LORD! A small glimpse of responsibility! Then she said that she was the disciplinary arm of Buchanan. Disciplinary arm? Then why was she calling me? She proceeded to tell me that my son had been “apprehended” at Garfield Elementary during school hours. In other words - he’d been caught ditchin’. I couldn’t believe it! Two days before school’s out and he ditched! I asked to speak to my son and when he came on the line I said, “Son, is she telling me the truth?” There was a pause, then he answered, “yes.” I spoke again to the counselor about the consequences of Steven’s choices, then asked to speak to my son again. “Son, I am going to pick you up when you are done with detention. Don’t look forward to the ride home - you are not going to enjoy it.”
In today’s world of “what’s good for me is good for me, and what’s good for you is good for you, just don’t let what’s good for you get in the way of what’s good for me” morality, finding a definition of integrity that suits everybody is like nailing jell-O to a tree. The best definition of integrity that I have heard is: “Integrity is who you are when nobody is looking.”
As a Christian, I am called to a higher level of integrity than the shifting jell-O integrity of the world. Father tells me “Let your “yes” be “yes” and “no”be”no” anything else comes from the evil one.”(Matt 5:37) I am to tell the truth in every situation. I don’t get to get away with “but I didn’t inhale.” Father tells me “Be holy because I AM holy” (1 Peter 1:16) and He tells me “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.” (Eph 5:3) The sexual merry-go-round that the world embraces, the “Me first!” attitudes, the “I want my slice of the pie and yours too” greed of the world are not for me. These are not to be my actions, attitudes or thoughts.
Unfortunately, even as I type this, I am aware of my own shortcomings. The Christian woman that you know through Fresno First Baptist - that’s really really me! Anyway it is me on Sonday morning. But if my yes is to be yes, then the truth is that my level of Christian integrity on Monday is not quite as holy as it is on Sonday. When I am at my house, with only my family, the level slips a little more. In my bedroom, behind closed doors - it slips to it’s lowest level.
So which is the true measure of my integrity? Is it who I am in church - at the office - at the house - or in my room? If integrity is who I am when nobody is looking - then the true measure of my Christian integrity is who I am in my bedroom when nobody is looking.
Does that mean that the Christian I am on Sonday morning is a fake? A Pharisee? I don’t think so. I think that on Sonday morning I am the best that I can be and in the privacy of my bedroom I am the worst I can be. But both are me. And by the grace of Father, the person I am in my bedroom is much closer to the person that I am on Sonday morning than I was several years ago.
My son and his friend knew that what they were doing was wrong but everybody does it. They figured they were safe - teachers weren’t taking roll - nobody would know. But they didn’t stop to think that with both of them being over 6 feet tall they would stand out like sore thumbs on an elementary school campus. What they thought they could keep secret became public.
Sometimes the person we are when nobody is looking gets us involved in things we know are wrong. We ignore the warning voice of our Father because we think that nobody will ever know. We visit that website - we cheat on those taxes - we flirt with that person we have no business flirting with - we double dip on our expense report - and anyway, it’s no big deal, everybody does it. We don’t plan on getting caught but somehow, we do.
Why is it so important that the integrity we have in private is the same as the integrity we have in front of the world? From presidents to priests, teachers to talk-show hosts, what is done in secret is trumpeted from the front page of the newspapers. Hopefully nothing that I ever do in secret will be so bad as to end up on the front page - but what about the person who sees me on Sonday morning then finds out about who I am when nobody is looking? Will who I am when nobody is looking cause them to stumble in their walk with Christ? Or even worse - will I cause them to reject Jesus because they see me as a hypocrite? God forbid that this could happen!
My son says that he was just about to tell his friend that they needed to go back to school. I am glad that he was trying to get out of that wrong situation and do what was right, but it was too late - and he was caught. I disciplined Steven severely for his wrong decisions. I did it because I love him more than my life and I want him to be a man of integrity.
Even if you are alone in a vault 15 miles below the earth what you do is not in secret. God knows. We can’t keep secrets from Him. He has already proved that He loves us more than His life, He wants us to be a people of integrity, so He will discipline us and allow us to bear the consequences of our secret actions. What is secret may well become public,
I must strive to make the person I am when nobody is looking be the same as the Christian on Sonday morning.
Holy God, You have called me to be holy because You are holy. Help me to be a person of Christian integrity when nobody is looking - when only You are looking.
Contact Valerie or sign up for the e-Ministry of Fresno First Baptist at valerie@fresnofirst.org