Valerie Rae Hanneman
Matthew 18:32-33 "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' (NIV)
We had a sleepover for Care Fresno Kids Klub last Friday. We have been doing this for years - but this last one was just different. Maybe it is because Kids Klub has seen such tremendous growth this year and many of the kids spending the night had not been in Kids Klub for long. We had a lot of fun We made butter from whipping cream, had some relay races, ate a lot of food, watched movies, and played video games. We also had a lot of problems that we have never faced before. We had to send two kids home because they got into a fight - and I will not tolerate that. There was a lot of rough play - more than normal. But somehow, we made it through the night. The next morning we had breakfast and were cleaning up the Fellowship Hall when I sent Steven and Karen down to put away the TV’s we had used. We didn’t realize that the room was connected to the alarm system, so we set off the alarm. I ran out to my car to get my wallet so I could call Willie for help. Luckily Bill Clem was there, he got me into the office and turned off the alarm. I called Willie to tell him what happened then went back to the Fellowship Hall. When I got back to Fellowship Hall - another emergency - a girl had fallen & was crying - so I ran in that direction. Finally the place was clean - the kids were gone and I headed out to my car. Wait a minute! Where is my wallet? With the help of my sister-of-my-heart, Debbie Jenks, I retraced my steps and we searched for that wallet. But it was nowhere to be found. I went home and unloaded the car and searched through all the Care Fresno boxes - no wallet. It had been stolen. And all I could assume was that it had been stolen by one of my Care Fresno Kids. I was devastated. It was bad enough that the wallet was gone - but to have one of my kids steal from me broke my heart. I immediately cancelled all my credit cards then, as I brooded about it for the rest of the day, I got more and more upset by the situation. By the time I came into Father’s presence that night, I was fit to be tied. “How could they do this to me?” I whined. “I love them so much - I have given them everything for 9 years! And they steal from me?” I tried to remind myself that some of the kids did not come from the best of home environments - but I just couldn’t get past what had happened. “Maybe it is time to do something else, LORD. How can I ever forgive them for stealing from me?” I was too upset on Saturday night to hear Father speak to me. But Sonday morning, I listened to Him. “I know how you feel,” He said (Not out loud - I would have freaked to the max over that - but you know what I mean!) He continued, “I have a daughter that I love so much I gave My life for her. For years our relationship was good. Then tragedy struck her life. Her son died. I was waiting to fold her into My arms, comfort her - but she spit in My face. She blamed me for her loss so she cursed Me and screamed that she hated Me. She turned her back on Me and purposely set out on a self destructive lifestyle. The grief was breaking My heart but I never left her. Ten long, painful years later, she was drowning in a cesspool of drugs when she turned back to Me. After all that she had done to Me - all the pain and grief she caused Me - I had no reason to forgive her. So do you know what I did?”
With tears streaming down my face I answered my Father, “You forgave me. Your love has always been bigger than anything I have done to You.” Then I went face down on my bedroom floor and asked Father to forgive me for my cold, stone heart that would chose unforgiveness for something as petty as a stolen wallet over loving a child like Jesus loves them.
Jesus told a parable about a man who was forgiven a great debt by his master, then turned around and refused to forgive a petty debt from another. Our verse today gives the master’s response to his servant after the master found out about the situation. The master then put the unforgiving servant in prison until the debt was paid.
Jesus is our Master. Because of His great love for us, He has forgiven us of a debt that we can never pay. He has commanded us to love one another and He has asked us to forgive others just as He has forgiven us. But a lifestyle of forgiveness is not easy. It goes against our human nature because it means that we must let go and not keep count of the hurts that others have done to us. And here is the hardest part - we have to forgive those who have hurt us - even when they have not asked for our forgiveness. But it is what the Master asks.
In the parable, the unforgiving servant ends up in prison - does that mean that if we refuse to forgive another that Jesus is going to toss us into a prison? I don’t think He has to. I think that when we refuse to forgive, unforgiveness coils through our hearts and cripples our ability to love, cripples our ability to serve, cripples our ability to live the abundant life Jesus has for us. And so we rot away in a prison that we have built around ourselves.
Father forgave me for my sin of unforgiveness. (He forgives me of so much) Later that morning I went into the kitchen to return the towels & stuff that Kids Klub had used and I mentioned to Carol Eland that my wallet was missing. “It’s in the pantry,” she told me. And so it was.
Later in services, while I was in choir, tears filled my eyes as two Care Fresno families participated in our celebration of Communion. One of my little girls took a great big drink from the Communion Cup because she doesn’t understand. She will someday though. Someday, through the grace and mercy of Jesus and the ministry of Care Fresno Kids Klub, she will understand what Communion means, then her sins will be forgiven and her name written in the Book of Life for eternity. And I almost chose unforgiveness over that.
LORD Jesus, even as You hung on the cross, Your words were of forgiveness for those who had killed You. You have forgiven me of so much - help me to remember all that I have been forgiven of so I do not harbor unforgiveness towards another.
Contact Valerie or sign up for the e-Ministry of Fresno First Baptist at valerie@fresnofirst.org
Posted by Valerie at February 10, 2006 07:40 PM