Valerie Rae Hanneman
Exodus 20:17"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." (NIV)
Back in August of 2000 I bought a brand-new Impala, the first new car I had ever owned. I drove it off the lot singing “LORD, You are good, LORD You are good, LORD, You are so good to me!” because I knew that this car was given to me by Father. I promised Father that it was His car - I was just the driver. Over the years it has gotten it’s share of bumps, bruises and stains - but I love that car. This past September - two days before my birthday - I lost control of it while going 70 on the freeway. I played “chicken” with the guard rail - and lost. As I sat on the side of the freeway I cried first because I was so glad to be alive. Then I saw the front end of my car and cried at what I had done to my car. I was so glad when it went into the shop to be fixed. My insurance paid for a rental and so I picked out the gorgeous black-on-black 2005 Amati. Fawn & Steven said that it looked like a mafia car - so that made me a mafia princess - and I felt like a princess when I was in it. It was so cool! It has a 6 cd changer stereo system that you could control through buttons on the steering wheel, a sun roof, separate temperature controls for the two halves of the car. But here is the coolest thing of all - it had bun warmers. With a click of a dial the seats would warm up. It was only mid-October, I was still wearing shorts, but every time I was in that car my buns were being warmed. When the auto body shop called to say that the repair was not completed I was not all that disappointed - in fact I was glad. The Amati was just so much better - it was prettier, it was cleaner, there weren’t any flaws in the paint and it had so many bells and whistles! And you know what? I deserve the Amati. I work hard! I work hard in my job - you would not believe the extra hours I have to work! I have earned that Amati. I work hard for Jesus - Care Fresno alone with all of it’s stress and problems is hard - and then you add everything else I do on top of it - and I deserve that Amati. What I don’t give to my job or to Jesus - I give to my family - they get the money I earn, they get my love, they get what they need before I get what I need. I take very little of anything for myself and I want that Amati. The Impala that Father had given me, had been put into a second class position. I earned, I deserved and I wanted to be the mafia princess. The Amati should be mine.
Covetousness - the wanting of things that are not yours. It is one of those fine-line sins. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having nice things or wanting nice things. I think the fine line comes in is where the priorities fall. When you fail to tithe because you want a bigger house - even though it is really to big for your needs, when you fail to serve Jesus because you choose to be out in the stores buying the new and improved version of what you already have, when you can not reach out a hand to help another because you are trying to keep up with the Jones’ then you have passed the fine line between wanting and coveting.
What motivates covetousness? Selfishness comes to mind first. “I want this because I want it” Sometimes we cover our selfishness under a thin veneer of righteousness. “If I had a bigger house I could host our small group.” That sounds pretty good - doesn’t it? Only the living room you have is plenty big enough for your small group to be comfortable in - and you don’t host them now. Covetousness is always found in a “me first, I want it” attitude.
Jealousy is another component of covetousness. “They have it - I work harder than they do - I deserve it and they don’t.” Your neighbor gets a new car and instead of being happy for them, that green cat of jealousy sheaths her claws into your heart - and you are jealous. Maybe you don’t even want that particular car - but you don’t want them to have it either. Covetousness is always found in a “I don’t have it - so I don’t want you to have it either” attitude.
But I think, that for the Christian, the biggest form of covetousness is found is discontent. We are not content with what Father has given us. I was so thrilled with my Impala when I first got it. For five years it has served me faithfully and I have served Father faithfully with it. I have used it to take kids up to Sugarpine, or for a day snow trip, or to roller skating. I have picked people up for church and taken kids home after Care Fresno. My trunk is a portable Kids Klub supply depot, I have done Trunk-or-Treat out of it, and hauled stuff to Lydia’s closet with it. Only now - it wasn’t good enough - it wasn’t the Amati. I wanted that Amati - even though it would not be as useful in serving God. It only seats 5 - the Impala seats six. (When you are in Children’s ministries - seating numbers is important!) The Amati’s trunk is much smaller - hauling kid’s luggage up to Sugarpine, or loading the supplies for 60 kids to have a sleep over at the church is simply not do-able in the Amati.
And still - I wanted the Amati. Not because I could serve God better through it - but because I liked getting my buns warmed.
My covetousness started showing up in my relationship with Father. Not because I directly said to Him “I am not content with what You have given me - I want my buns warmed” but because my discontent was in my heart. And to be honest - I should have gone ahead and just said it to Him - He knew anyway. It took me too many days to figure out that the coolness in my relationship with God was not because He had moved away from me, it was because I had built a wall of covetousness and discontent between us that was getting so big that it was hard to see Him anymore. The Amati wasn’t worth that.
I was actually relieved when I got my Impala back. It was so good to sit in the drivers seat again! The Impala may not warm my buns - but after 5 years it fits my buns perfectly! On the front seat is a soda stain from when a little boy dropped a soda on the way up to Sugarpine. When we got up to Sugarpine, he got out of the car and he said to me, “Ms Valerie, I didn’t know it could be so beautiful!” He had never been in the mountains. He accepted Jesus on that trip. God used my Impala to change his life for eternity. There is a green highlighter mark on the back seat made by a child who just didn’t understand that in-car graffiti is not cool. She accepted Christ later that year at Vacation Bible School - and I love that green mark.
I am content with my Impala because it is what Father gave me to serve Him with. Someday He might give me an Amati - and that would be pretty cool. But if He doesn’t - that is cool too - because my soul deep joy is found in serving Him - not in being a mafia princess.
LORD God, thank You for providing what I need to serve You. Help me to examine myself when it comes to my wants. I really don’t want them if they are not used to serve You.
Contact Valerie at valerie@fresnofirst.org
Posted by Valerie at February 3, 2006 12:56 PM