Valerie Rae Hanneman
Luke 2:15 (NLT) “When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Come on, let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this wonderful thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."”
Ten years ago on the Sonday between Christmas and New Years, I joined Fresno First Baptist Church. It was a pretty big step for me because I was risking everything that was important to me. Let me explain. After surviving an abusive step-father, surviving my two long term relationships with abusers, surviving the death of my son, surviving my descent into the hell of drugs and a lifestyle that almost killed me, I was finally safe. The chaos of my life had been replaced with stability. I had a great job that allowed me to own my own home. My two kids were the best - everything I could ask for (and still are). The walls that I had built to protect myself from being hurt by others were firmly in place. I did not think it was a problem that, although I had many “friends,” I did not have anybody that I was close to, that I allowed to know the real me. My life was under my control - safe, secure, predictable. I finally had it all together.
I love all the characters that surround the birth of Jesus but there is something so endearing about the shepherds. They were with their flocks in the hills outside of Bethlehem. I don’t know how far they were from Bethlehem but apparently they were far enough away to make the decision that it was better to stay overnight in the hills with the sheep rather than herding them back and forth to their pens every day. We don’t know if they owned the sheep or were hired hands but either way, those sheep were their livelihood. And what a way to make a living. Sheep are not the brightest color in the crayon box of the animal kingdom. They were pretty dull (and stupid) requiring almost constant attention. Take your attention off them for just a minute and they were wandering off with no idea of where they were, where they were going or how to get back to where they came from. Then the shepherd had to go looking for them. But the shepherds had their job down pat. They were in control. Their lives may have been boring, but they were safe, secure and predictable. They had it all together. Then God happened.
Can’t you just imagine it? The night is silent, lit by the moon and stars. The sheep are sleeping and you are seated around the campfire listening to Josiah tell his “knock-knock” jokes again. You are thinking that if you have to listen to those jokes one more time you are going to knock-knock him! Everything was just the same as it was last night, and the night before that, and the night before that, and ............... Suddenly, the night explodes into light. Your jaw drops in amazement and You are wondering, “What did Micah put in that stew?” Then there is an angel with an incredible message. In Bethlehem - a baby - the Messiah - go see. Then more angels- and not just one or two - the New Living Translation describes them as the armies of heaven. They fill the sky with their songs of praise. You are spreadeagled face down on the ground, knowing that this is not the stew - this is YHWH. Then the angels disappear, the night is silent again. You and your companions stand up and you look at each other, wondering if your eyes are as wide and shocked as theirs. “Come on,” you say, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see.” And it is not enough to walk to Bethlehem, you run to see God in the flesh.
But what about the sheep? Who is watching the sheep? Maybe some of them stayed behind to guard the sheep - but I doubt it. Would you be the shepherd that said, “Oh yeah, you guys go and see God, I’ll just stay here with the sheep.” I don’t think so - it wouldn’t be me saying that. After what I just saw and heard - I am leading the pack running to Bethlehem.
I think they left the sheep. And when they did, they risked everything. Those sheep were their livelihood. They represented everything that was safe and secure in their lives. They had no guarantee that those sheep would be there when they got back. And if those sheep were gone, then everything in their lives that were safe and secure were gone. If they owned those sheep - their income was gone. If they were hired hands then they were unemployed, never to work as shepherds again. Nobody would hire a shepherd that left the sheep. Did they even give the sheep a second thought? Probably. But they had enough faith to know that if God could fill the sky with angels, He could watch over a few hundred sheep. Or maybe they had enough faith to know that if the sheep were gone, then God, Who cared enough for the world to send His Son, would care for them. They had had it all together and they risked it all to run pell-mell through the night to reach God. And nothing would ever be the same again for them. They were the first that God invited to see Messiah.
As I stood in the sanctuary 10 years ago, I had it all together. My life was everything I had ever hoped for. I was in control. I knew that if I walked down that aisle to meet God that nothing would ever be the same again. I knew that it would be much more than simply joining the church. I knew that, with that first step, I was making my commitment to God and I would have to let go of what made me have it all together - I would have to let go of the control.
And I was right. Today, I am totally out of control with my life. Not that my life is chaos - it’s not. (Well, except for Friday nights at Care Fresno.) I am out of control of my life because God is in control of my life. And He has shown me that 10 years ago, when I though my life was safe, secure and predictable, it was all an illusion.
I had it all together, but I lost that illusion somewhere. Now I do have it all together, because I am all together in Him. That is pretty cool.
LORD God, thank You for being in control of my life. Life with You is not predictable and I praise You for that. But I have Your promise that nothing can separate me from Your love. I finally know what safe and secure feels like.
Contact Valerie or register for the e-Ministry of Fresno First Baptist at valerie@fresnofirst.org
Posted by Valerie at December 23, 2005 06:54 PM