Valerie Rae Hanneman
Judges 11:39 “At the end of two months she returned to her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed.” (Amplified)
When I was in Junior High, I had a fight with my friend, Gwendolyn. I don’t remember what we fought about. Something silly I am sure. Whatever the issue, we both felt that we were right. In spite of years of friendship, we quit speaking to each other, waiting for the other to admit that they were wrong. Here’s the kicker - I was the one who was wrong. I knew it just shortly after the argument. But my pride was all that I had and I would not let go of my pride and admit that I was wrong. And so the friendship ended. We both found others to hang out with and although eventually we were speaking to each other, we were never really friends again.
Back in the day (of the Judges) in the area of Gilead, there was this guy named Jephthah who was a mighty warrior. He grew up knowing how to fight because he was the illegitimate son of his father and a prostitute. When his younger brothers (who were legitimate) got older they kicked him out of the home saying that he had no part of them or of their inheritance from their father. Jephthah then went to a different country where he attracted what the Word calls “worthless men” who went on raids with him. Then the Ammonites came against Israel, so the elders of Jephthah’s former home came to him. “Dude,” they said, (well, sorta) “You are a mighty warrior! We need you to come home and lead our armies against our enemies.” Jephthah said, “No way. I’m not lifting a finger to help you after what you did to me.” Then the elders said, “If you will lead the fight against the Ammonites we will make you the head guy over all of Gilead.” I can only imagine the elation Jephthah felt at that moment. After all the years of being the whore’s son, they were begging him. He, who wasn’t good enough to share in his father’s inheritance would now rule over all of them. Jephthah moved back to Gilead. When it was time to go to battle, Jephthah decided to bribe God for a victory. “If You give me a victory, I will sacrifice the first thing that comes to meet me when we return.” God gave him the victory. And the first thing that came to greet him was his daughter, his only child. Jephthah tore his clothes in grief. “You have made me wretched and miserable!” he said to his daughter, “I have made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break.” The girl asked for two months to mourn the fact that she would never marry. Personally, I believe that she hoped that in the two months her father would find some way out of this vow. But he didn’t. And at the end of the two months, Jephthah gently placed his daughter on an altar, he held her head back at her chin, his fingers feeling her frantic pulse in her neck. He looked into his daughter’s terrified eyes
And he cut her throat.
Even these thousands of years later, I am grieved at the death of this child. I wondered about why God would accept this vow and this sacrifice. Then I realized that although Jephthah had sacrificed his daughter to keep his vow to his god, he did not sacrifice to YHWH, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He sacrificed his only child to the god of his pride. I know that Father tried His best to turn Jephthah away from the path he was on. I wonder how many times during those two months Father urged Jephthah to just say no to the vow. But Jephthah wouldn’t do it. He, who used to be the leader of a band of worthless men, he who was now the leader of Gilead, had spoken his vow before those he now leads. And he would not admit that he had been wrong. He sacrificed his daughter rather than sacrifice his pride. And Father found that sacrifice to be abhorrent. Heaven’s gates shook with His grief as she died.
There are some types of pride that are good. I am so proud of my children - they are awesome. I am proud of my community of faith and the way that we reach out in the name of Jesus. I am proud of my God and His glory. But Jephthah’s pride was wrong. Any pride that is centered in the “I” is detestable in God’s sight. Psalm 10:4 (NIV) says, “In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God” When our hearts and thoughts are swollen with self-pride, there is no room for God and He is kicked out. Actually, God is not kicked out - He simply refuses to live in the pigsty of our self-pride.
Pride creeps in slowly. Bit by bit our focus moves off of what God does for us and onto what we do for God. We get to forgettin’ that without Him we are nothing, and we start believing in our own something. Father whispers to us, “Just say no to your pride.” But off we go - following our own pride. And Father lets us go.
The good news is that once we have fallen flat on our face (cause that is what always happens when we think we are large and in charge) He lets us come back. He stretches His arms wide to receive us back to Him.
I don’t know what the rest of Jephthah’s life was like - but I imagine it was quite miserable. I wonder if he ever admitted - even just to himself - the enormity is his mistake and the price of his pride.
I don’t remember a lot of the people I knew when I was a child. But I have never forgotten Gwen. To this day I regret that I did not go to her and admit that I was wrong, and ask her forgiveness. But I chose my pride and found out the hard way that pride is a dry-ice cold companion.
Father, pride is too easy for me. It sneaks in and I don’t even realize it until it has taken root. Then it comes between You and I - and I hate that. Help me to see myself more clearly so that we can stop my self-pride before it harms me.
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Posted by Valerie at October 21, 2005 07:14 PM