Valerie Rae Hanneman
Luke: 24:21 “but we had hoped that He was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place.” (NIV)
My sister was in rehab - again. What was this - the 4th or 5th or 6th time? Mom asked me to go out to visit Kee with her and even though I didn’t really want to - for my mom - I went. Much to my dismay it wasn’t just a visit - there was a group therapy session included. Each of the “patients” asked a family member to talk about their issues, in front of the whole group of patients & visitors. I am not a “touchie-feelie” type of person so I wasn’t thrilled to be there but I figured that Kee would choose my Mom to have her “close encounter of the mind-kind” with - so I was safe. Only just before Kee was called, my mom took Tommy, Kee’s son, outside to play. So by default (or maybe a sinister plot between my sister and my mom) I was the one chosen by Kee. As I took my seat I explained to the counselor that this was way out of my comfort zone and I did not want to do this, but I was trapped. Kee told me that she felt like there was a wall between us and I agreed with her. I explained that I had been hurt so many times by her continual drug use that I had built that wall to protect myself from getting hurt again and that I had no expectation and no hope that she would ever be free of the drugs. She promised me that this time was different, she was finally getting the help that she needed, she was understanding the pain she had put her family through and she was determined not to do that to us again. I started crying (and if I don’t like the touchie-feelie stuff - you KNOW I hated that part!). I told her that all I wanted was to have my sister back. She cried and said that she promised that she was back for good this time. We hugged and I allowed myself to do something that I had not done in a long time - I started hoping that my sister would be free from the drugs. While she was in rehab I prayed fervently for her recovery. I knew that between her determination, my hope and prayers and Father’s power that Kee would be free of the drugs that possessed her. After a total of 9 months, Kee came out of rehab. Less than two months later she tested “dirty” for the drugs again. I was heartbroken and deeply hurt. My hope shattered into hopelessness.
Two of the disciples were walking to Emmaus on the third day after Jesus’ crucifixion. They were really down in the dumps and trying to figure out when every thing had gone so wrong - and trying to make some sense out of the bizzaro story that the women had told them that morning about Jesus’ grave being empty. When a Stranger joined them they didn’t really take a good look at Him. “What’s up, dudes?” He asked. “Man, where have You been that You don’t know what has been going on in Jerusalem?” they answered. Then they told the Stranger about how they were followers of Jesus of Nazareth a great Prophet Who had been taken by the Chief Priests and rulers and crucified. “We had hoped that He was the One - the One Who was going to redeem Israel - but apparently not.” they said.
Cleopas and the other disciple knew about knew about reaching for the heights only to be broken on the rocks of despair. They had followed Jesus and came to believe that He was Messiah. They had danced with the crowds just a week ago shouting “Hosanna! Blessed is the King of Israel” They knew that finally the long-awaited Hope of Israel was here - the Messiah had come to drive out the Roman oppressors and establish His earthly kingdom. Only Jesus had been taken and crucified and all their hopes had died with Him. Now there was nothing left.
“You dingalings,” the Stranger mocked gently. Then He proceeded to give them a history lesson - starting with Moses and ending up with the prophets - showing them the truth about Who Messiah really was. And although the two disciples heard His words with their ears - they did not hear them with their heart and they still did not see Jesus.
How could they have not known it was Jesus? They knew Him intimately. They had talked with Him, laughed with Him, eaten with Him, walked with Him. They had been in a relationship with Him. And now they didn’t even recognize Him. Were their hearts were so clouded by grief, broken faith and hopelessness that they could not see that God walked with them?
They got to Emmaus and talked the Stranger into eating with them. The Stranger took the bread, blessed it, broke it, and handed it to them. Suddenly, they recognized Jesus. Did they have to see the gaping holes still in His flesh before they could see that Hope Everlasting was with them? Before their dazzled eyes, Jesus disappeared. And then they said, “You know - I knew there was something about Him when we were on the road.”
Sometimes the hope we have is not the hope that God has for us. And sometimes God’s greatest mercy is to not give us what we hope for. These men had hoped for an earthly kingdom - and almost missed the Eternal Kingdom that was the real hope of Israel. What God had hoped for them was so much more glorious then their weak hopes.
Have your dreams ever been shattered? Of course they have - we are humans and that is just part of life. When your dreams shatter remember these two men as they walked to Emmaus. Do not be so deep in your own heartbreak from the death of your hope that you fail to see Jesus still walking right beside you - do not wait until Jesus has to show you the holes in His wrists before you see Him clearly in whatever situation you are facing.
But most important of all - don’t mourn so hard for your shattered hopes that you miss the glorious hope that God has for you. Don’t be so mired down that you can’t recognize His voice when He speaks to you. There will come a time when you look back on your road and say, “Oh! That’s what was going on! I understand it all now!”
When my sister tested “dirty” again I cried myself to sleep while asking Father, “Why wouldn’t You help her keep clean?” I let hope for my sister die in me once again. I still prayed for her - but refused to hope that anything would ever free Kee from the drugs. Last Fall, Kee moved to Missouri to live with her daughters and their great-grandparents. In my heartbreak I thought “Good riddance!” When my hope died, I wrote my sister off. But Father didn’t. Kee has a job in Missouri, the first “real” one that I have known her to have. She says that she is clean from the drugs, and being as she is working in the health care field, I think that she has to be. My lack of hope for my sister did not stop God from His hope for her or stop Him from putting her on the road to recovery. My hope was small - and conditional. His hope is glorious and unconditional.
His hope for us is the same.
Father, Help me to remember that when my hopes are not realized it is not because there is not hope - but rather that my hope was not aligned to Your hope. Help me to seek the same hope that You have.
Contact Valerie or subscribe to the e-Ministry of Fresno First Baptist at valerie@fresnofirst.org
Posted by Valerie at April 1, 2005 07:32 PM