Valerie Rae Hanneman
Matthew 26:14-15 (New Living Translation) “Then Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples, went to the leading priests and asked, "How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you?" And they gave him thirty pieces of silver”
I was in the lunch room of my job a while back. The talk turned really raunchy - enough to make me uncomfortable. In the back of my mind I was wondering if they were doing it on purpose - to see what I would do. What I did was get up to leave. “Why are you leaving?” one person asked. I had a chance here to make a stand for Jesus and the moral values I hold. I had a chance to say, “Your conversation is offensive to a Living God and to me as a Christian. I cannot sit here and listen to this.” But even as I thought it I chickened out. In my mind I said, “They already think you are a religious nut - why give them even more reason to think that?” So instead I mumbled that I needed to get back to work early and I left.
Thirty pieces of silver, the price of a slave, equal to one hundred twenty denarii. A general daily wage was one denarii - so these thirty pieces of silver represented four months of wages. That was the price that Judas agreed to sell God for. There are a number of theories why Judas sold out Jesus. He was disillusioned and no longer believed that Jesus was Messiah. He thought Jesus was Messiah, and so he was trying to force Jesus’ hand and make Him destroy the Romans and set up the kingdom. He could see the writing on the wall about Jesus and the priests - and he was just trying to save himself. The bottom line is that he bartered Jesus away for thirty pieces of silver and set into motion the events that would end in Jesus’ crucifixion.
Judas disgusts us - doesn’t he? Even if he did not believe any more that Jesus was Messiah - he still sold a Man Who had been nothing but good to him for the past three years. But seriously - how could Judas not know that Jesus was Messiah? Judas was with Jesus for over three years. He saw all the miracles! He cast out demons and healed bodies in Jesus’ name! He ate of the loaves and fishes - he saw Jesus walk across the water - he saw Lazarus come out of the tomb. He HAD to know that Jesus was Messiah! He had no excuse for what he did. If I had been in Judas’ place I would have never sold Jesus out.
Not for $12,000 dollars - not for a million dollars - not for the saving of my own life - I would not sell Jesus out!
Of course - I haven’t been in any of those situations - and by the grace of God I never will be. And I wonder - as I make all my brash declarations - am I like Peter in the upper room - declaring that I would die before I would deny? Peter said he would never because he had never faced that trial. And when he did, he folded and slunk away - denying as he went. I haven’t faced the trial of $12,000 - a million dollars - or my life - and even though I declare that I would stand for Jesus - talk is cheap. It is easy to say - when you haven’t faced it.
Although I have not faced any of these extreme situations, I sold Him out in a lunchroom when I chose my own comfort over telling Jesus’ truth. What if there was a reson I was put in that situation? What if there was somebody sitting at that table who might have been impacted in Jesus’ name - if I had just obeyed my inner voice and made a stand for Jesus and for what I know is right?
We wonder how Judas could have betrayed Jesus when he had been with Jesus for 3 years and had seen clear proof that Jesus is Messiah. I have been with Jesus for 10 years now. I too have seen His miracles - the miracle I know best is the one that looks back at me every morning in the mirror. I do not believe that Jesus is the Son of God, my Savior and my Messiah - I KNOW that Jesus is the Son of God, my Savior and my Messiah.
So why did I do it? Judas had his reasons and excuses and we can only speculate on them. I - on the other hand - know exactly why I did what I did. I made excuses to myself as I walked back to my office - I really did have to get back to work - I was about to leave anyway - so what difference did it make? But the still small voice in me - the one that speaks the truth to me even when I don’t want to hear it - was telling me the truth. And the truth was that I didn’t want people to think I was a religious nutcase and make fun of me behind my back. So I folded and slunk back to my office.
I know that there are those who say that my sellout was small when compared to Judas’s sellout, and they may be right. But a little sellout has something in common with a big sellout. They are both sellouts. And when I don’t do what Holy Spirit is urging me to do - because I am afraid of what people will think - or I don’t have time right now - or I don’t know what to say - or I don’t know the person that well - or any other “or” I can think of - then I am selling Jesus out at my own pricetag.
After Jesus was taken, Judas felt much remorse over selling Jesus out. So much remorse that he ended up taking his own life a short time later. I also feel great remorse over selling Jesus out in the lunchroom. So much remorse that when I got home I went onto my room, closed my door and prostrated myself before Jesus to beg for His forgiveness. I hope that Judas asked God for forgiveness before he died. If he did he found it - I know that he did - because I did.
I wish that I could tell you that the lunchroom incident was the first and last time that something like that happened to me - but there is a reason why I know all the excuses - I’ve been there - done that - and used them all.. But as I grow stronger in Jesus, trying to become more like Him, it gets easier and easier to make my stand for Him.
LORD Jesus, I don’t want to sell You out for a bunch of weak excuses or cheap trinkets that the world offers. Help me to be strong enough to stand for You when they threaten my life, and strong enough to stand for You when they are going to laugh at me.
Posted by Valerie at March 26, 2005 04:24 PM