Valerie Rae Hanneman
Proverbs 19:2 “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.” (ESV)
For our Christmas celebration this year, Care Fresno Kids Klub had a sleepover. Sleepovers are always hectic but even more so on this night because we had first gone by bus over to what my kids fondly call “The Christmas House” of Jim & Donna Sullivan. We got back, hurriedly ate spaghetti for dinner and then moved over to the Senior and Junior high rooms to have the sleepover. Because we had been at the Sullivan’s, the rooms were not set up - and the “munchies” were not out on the tables yet. I sent of few of my youth leaders to watch the kids and the rest to set up our rooms. I then went back to room 310 to set up for our special activity for the night. Our special activity was cookie decorating. Char Cole had baked us a bunch of flat cookies, I had made the frosting and purchased all sorts of items to decorate with. There were nuts, marshmallows, pretzels, raisins, and all sorts of little candies that needed to be set out in little bowls. My plan was to set out just a little bit of everything in the bowls - and to refill them as needed. That way any leftovers could be used later. I was setting out the bowls when three girls came in and asked if they could help. I welcomed their help. I was giving them an overview of what we were going to do with the bowls when one of the youth leaders came in to get me. Apparently there was a dispute over a rubber ball that needed to be resolved. I told the girls to wait for me to get back and off I went. It took me awhile to make one little boy understand that bouncing the ball off the head of another little boy might be an accident the first time - but it was difficult to accept that it was an accident the 5th time it happened and that he was to stop having this accident immediately! When I got back to room 310 my girls were just beaming - they were so excited to show me what they had done. While I was gone they had put everything into bowls and I mean EVERYTHING! Some of the bowls were full-to-overflowing. Some of the items took four or five bowls to hold all of them. And they had gone one step further and had thrown out all the now empty bags - the first time any of those kids had cleaned up without me nagging them! I was just sick - there was no way that I could fix what had been done and I knew that we were going to end up wasting a lot of the decorating items. These girls were positive that they knew what I wanted and they were in a rush to get it done for me. But they only knew a small part of the picture and in their haste - they created a waste.
Do you know anybody who does this? They grab the ball and run with it - thinking they know what they are doing? But they end up making a goal for the other team because they were in too much of a hurry to realize they were going the wrong direction. I know somebody like that - she looks back at me from the mirror every morning. My boss will be explaining something that he needs and I get so busy in my head figuring out the best way to get it that I stop listening to him. Then when I get the information to him it isn’t what he asked for. Either I got the wrong information, not enough information or the information is presented incorrectly. Then I have to slink back to my office and do it correctly. In my haste - I just made waste. I have wasted my time and his time. And I have damaged my reputation with him.
But there are times that I do even worse. There are times when I get this really great idea and I just KNOW that it is from Father and off I go with it. Only - I forgot something. I forgot to ask God. Sometimes I hear Him calling to me - only I don’t pay attention. Maybe I am so convinced that I am headed the right direction that I am thinking that the voice I am hearing - God’s voice - is leading the angels in cheers for me. Only I am in too much of a rush to realize that Father isn’t cheerleading for me, He is trying to get me to slow down enough to listen to what HE wants me to do. Sometimes He gets my attention in time to stop me from falling flat on my face - and sometimes He doesn’t. Believe me, there is nothing more humbling than to be sitting there trying to dig the dirt and leaves out of your teeth and nose while finally listening to the voice you should have been listening to before you got yourself in this position.
Does Father love me any less at these times? No - that is impossible for Him, just as it is impossible for me to love my three girls any less. I can not fault the heart and the motives of my girls. They love me and just wanted to please me and help me by taking part of the stress of the evening off of me. When I am sitting in the dirt brushing it off my face and clothes Father does not fault my heart or my motives. He knows that I love Him so much - that I just want to serve Him and to please Him. What I can fault my girls for is that I told them to wait for me to get back - but they forged ahead with what they thought I wanted. Father can fault me for the same thing. He says to me, “Wait upon Me.”“Be still & know...”“Listen to My voice,” only I forge ahead with what I think He wants.
But the results in both instances are the same - waste. The girls who helped me did not waste my time. But they did waste Care Fresno resources.
I did not waste Father’s time - time is something He created and He exists outside of it, filling all of eternity at once. I cannot waste what does not affect Him. But I waste His resources. When I pledged my life to Him, when I pledged to be His duelos - His bond-servant - then I became one of His resources. And although Father is not touched by time - I most certainly am. I only have a certain number of days here on earth before I joyously leap to join Him in eternity - so I am a limited resource. When Father is trying to call me in one direction only I’ve got the bit between my teeth and I am off running in another direction, then I am wasting my time and my effort. And I am wasting Father’s resources.
Father wants us to be enthusiastic and joyful in His service - but He doesn’t want our enthusiasm to overpower His voice and His will for us. He may not show you right now what He wants you to do - but He will show you at the right time. Be patient - wait for His voice.
Father, I will never regret being Your bond-servant. It is my joy and my reason for living. But I do regret wasting my time and effort in trying to do what I think You want before I ask You what You want for me. I open my heart and my life to You and ask that You help me to seek Your voice first before I act.
Contact Valerie or subscribe to the e-Ministry at Fresno First Baptist at valerie@fresnofirst.org.
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Posted by Valerie at January 28, 2005 06:51 PM